Monthly Archives: March 2012

Career Values? What values?

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Yesterday, I completed a self-assessment form from the Graduate College’s Career Services website. On it, I was supposed to identify the values that must be present in my future work for me to be satisfied and then rank them 1-8. Here’s what I identified (and the descriptions from the worksheet):

  1. Family/Personal Life: A balance between personal and work is important.
  2. Job Stability: I want a reasonable assurance of long-term employment.
  3. Structure: I want to work with clearly defined policies and procedures.
  4. Knowledge: In my job, I want to learn more and expand my skills.
  5. Location: The geographic location of my work is important to me.
  6. Ethics & Values: My work must match my personal values and beliefs.
  7. Challenge: I want to solve difficult, but interesting problems.
  8. Wealth from Income: Income from my job is very important./Expertise: I want to become a subject-level expert in my field.

Here were the values that didn’t quite make the list: Enjoyment, Advancement.

Here’s what I don’t care about or actively dislike: Adventure, Entrepreneurship, Social Service, Recognition, Variety, Creativity, People Contact, Independence, Pace, Authority, Aesthetics.

Work-Life balance is extremely important to me. I desperately want a job that I can leave behind at the end of the day. Many of my friends who have worked or are currently working cite this as one of the benefits of their jobs. In grad school, I have a hard time relaxing or downplaying stressors in my life, so I often am unable to enjoy things because schoolwork is hanging over my head.

Moreover, I am extremely risk-averse. My parents can recall, I’m sure, how I chickened out three times over getting my ears pierced.

With Jessica leaving in the next month for a really fantastic and hard-earned career opportunity, I am starting to feel not only stressed, but also dejected about my job prospects. With no “real” work experience, who will hire me? And let’s be honest–I think my MA in French Linguistics is pretty much garbage because I don’t use my French anymore. What if I don’t want to teach ESL for the rest of my life?

I just want a job that I don’t hate. I am willing to sacrifice having a job that I love for a stable job that I can leave behind at the end of the day. I trust myself to make my personal life engaging. Moreover, I don’t think we need to love our jobs–they’re jobs, not playtime. Likewise, I certainly don’t love all of my classes, but I still go diligently and perform my best.

Right now, my dream job would be something that fulfills the above criteria and allows me to continue building my fluency in Korean, preferably with travel.

I’ve considered translation/interpretation before, but the actual professions don’t jive well with the values identified above: inconsistent workload, low median salary, etc. Additionally, my Korean and French are nowhere near the level that I would need for translation, and I would always take backseat to a native bilingual. And as I told the boyfriend this morning, there is nothing specifically about translation/interpretation that interests me–I would gladly take any other job that would allow me to use my languages.

This kind of thinking makes me feel panicked and stressed, which is obviously unproductive. All I can do is take it one step at a time.

So let’s do this instead:

What is my goal? Find a job that capitalizes on my interest in learning languages.

What small steps can I take to make this happen? Actively work towards improving my Korean every day!

I tried to write this post as honestly and thoughtfully as possible, but I apologize if I sound entitled and naive, especially to those who are jaded and cynical about the job market.

“It must have been hormones.”

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Recently, I’ve been having more feminist RAWWR! moments than usual.

Then this morning, I had a really bizarre episode involving peanut butter sandwiches and a cereal spoon. While the boyfriend was getting ready upstairs, I thought I’d be nice (like I sometimes am) and make his lunch for him. I made his two PBJ sandwiches, and he thanked me when he came downstairs. Then we started pouring our cereals into our respective bowls, and he got himself a spoon out of the flatware drawer.

Except he didn’t get me a spoon. He shut the drawer.

I said, “Wow, can you not get ME a spoon?”

And he apologized and said he was just trying to get out of my way.

I felt like he wasn’t being considerate enough to think that, given that we were both eating cereal, I might also like a spoon. Just thinking about another person.

Long story short: I felt rather upset about this and then proceeded to cry about it on the bus ride to campus.

I told a few people this story, and what disturbs me more than the episode itself was the way I described it to people. I kept saying things like, “It must have been hormones.” or “I didn’t get enough sleep last night and just overreacted.”

And while those things may be true, I felt like I was reducing my own emotions because that’s what women are often “supposed” to do.

Sometimes, I do fly off the hook and overreact about things, but how many times have I accidentally blurted out some unnecessary justification for my feelings?

I am allowed to feel sad, upset, hurt, or offended. I’m not saying that my behavior was justified this morning, but I also don’t like reducing my emotions by blaming my internal physiology. This makes it seem like women aren’t allowed to own their emotions–to be legitimately displeased without rationalizing their feelings.

On a related note, one time in high school, I was over at a friend’s house while she was talking to a jerk on the phone. I got angry about something, and his immature reaction was to say, “Wow, is it somebody’s time of month?!?” This is the shit I’m talkin’ about!

On our run, Jessica assured me that Matt often does similar things. And maybe women do just think about other people more often, but is this an innate tendency or a socially constructed habit? Likewise, are men actually less observant, or are they just able to get by in our society this way?

The end. Rant over. I felt like it was much more eloquent in my head, so if you know what I mean, please leave a comment.

(For the record, the boyfriend felt really terrible and bewildered while silent tears streamed down my cheeks on the bus. We talked it out.)

 

Let’s be honest about running.

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Here it is:  For the most part, I’m just not into running right now. With the exception of the River-to-River Relay on April 14th, I have no races planned, and I haven’t run any since last fall. My weekly mileage? A laughable 15 miles, at best. [I'm not saying that 15 miles is inherently laughable; it just seems ridiculous in comparison to what I used to run.]

For some reason or another, after the Cleveland Marathon last May, I just lost interest in running.

When I wake up in the mornings, I don’t want to put on my running gear and hit the pavement. In the winter, I blamed the weather, but now that spring has sprung early, I can only blame myself. (And also, the people who fertilized their fields because it smells like pig shit outside every morning.)

With the beautiful weather, I’m really excited every morning to take Bodger for a walk. Then I can drink tea, check the Interwebs, and eat a leisurely breakfast of Grapenuts, just like an old person.

I feel twinges of wistfulness when I see the local training groups doing their Sunday long runs together. And I often wish I could go out and enjoy pounding the pavement and training to be hardcore for a race.

…but when I actually lace up my shoes and get out there, I realize that I’m nostalgic for a romanticized version of my running, not what it often is: wishing I were lying on the couch.

Additionally, since I’ve cut back on mileage, I’ve lost a few pounds. Now, this could be related to going vegetarian, but I’m too lazy to do real science and isolate one independent variable at a time. I don’t talk about my weight very often here, but it is something I care about. When I was running higher mileage, I often got in the mindset of “eating back” my burned calories–in essence, using running as an excuse to eat whatever I want. Now, with lower mileage, I still eat whatever I want but try to do so more mindfully and less desperately. Maybe I’ll blog about this too….

After River-to-River, I plan to cut back. Right now, a good part of my motivation to run is so that I don’t die on the hills of southern Illinois next month. After that though, all bets are off. I’m going to run only if I feel like it, which is usually when I can squeeze in friend-time too. I’ve been using runs to catch up with Lena and to spend quality moments with Jessica before she graduates. And when Aileen gets back, I plan to hit the pavement with her too. Maybe I’ll just take some leisurely strolls. (Anybody wanna’ walk with me?)

If I want to race, I will. However, with my tendency to stress excessively, it doesn’t seem worth the wasted energy right now. I once cried at the starting line of a race because I was so nervous. Seriously? You know what’s worth crying about? People starving to death in North Korea. You know what’s not worth crying about? A race that I voluntarily registered for.

That’s where I stand with my running these days. With so many bloggers training for races, I felt guilty for wanting to cut back, like I wasn’t digging deep enough. Then I realized that’s fucking stupid.

I do what I want! 

Like…finishing my totally awesome hat:

Becoming a knitting badass!

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As you can see, I am in the process of knitting my first wool hat, just in time for spring/summer!

Step-mom Pat taught me to knit a long time ago, and I’ve made a few scarves over the years. Now, however, I’m inspired to tackle some more complex projects because Kayla and I are starting a knitting club!

In my mind, knitting club means a regular meeting for needlework badassery, eating snacks, and gossiping. (Right, Kayla??) Cable-knit sweaters by the end of the summer!

On one hand, I feel strange about cultivating “homemaker”/”homebody” skills like knitting and baking because they are traditionally for women only. Maybe I should be breaking gender stereotypes by learning to wield a chainsaw, fixing muscle cars, and playing the stock market.

On the other hand, I should do what I enjoy, right? I do what I want!

Plus, this is a hobby I can take with me to Korea this summer so when I don’t make friends, I can sit in my 6′x6′ goshiwon and cry into my knitting. Just kidding!

And let’s be honest, I have room for a new hobby because running isn’t bringing me much joy these days, especially by myself. In fact, it’s starting to feel like a chore. I’ll blog more about this later, but it’s safe to say that running and I, we’re on the outs right now.

 

The Squeakiest Cheese Curds of the Upper Midwest

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A few weeks ago, the boyfriend suggested that we go to Madison, WI for spring break because I’d never seen the university campus. Plus, we figured that we should get a picture of the Wisconsin State Capitol while we’re in the Midwest because we’re never coming back here after we graduate. [Okay, that's not entirely true, but I'd prefer to end up back on a coast.]

When Kayla told me that she and Darby also had no travel plans for spring break, it was a overnight trip match made in heaven!

On Sunday morning, we headed up to Madison, passing by the “World’s Largest Culver’s.” Seriously?

Reason #1 why Kayla & Darby are great traveling companions: Kayla bakes cookies for the road!

Our hotel was within walking distance of the capitol building, so that was our first stop.

Just down the street from the capitol, we found a store called “Fromag-i-nation.” Normally, I’m not a huge cheese person, but I do love specialty food shops. Upon entering Fromg-i-nation, the smell of cheese was overpowering. We didn’t end up getting anything because walking around in the unseasonable heat with a block of cheese seemed like a questionable life decision.

However, Darby seriously considered some 15-year aged cheddar, which, according to label “stands alone.”

For dinner, Kayla and Darby had heard good things about the The Old Fashioned, which apparently pays tribute to Wisconsin supper clubs and taverns. The physicists had some kind of beer, which [like all beers] tasted like poison.

Oh, Shandy, you are the only beer-ish beverage for me. And this is partially because your name reminds of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman.

By the way, is there a rule for how couples are supposed to sit when double-dating? Do the partners sit side-by-side or across? Does it matter?

Here is a kind of cheese I do like: cheese curds! Having only sampled these once, I mistakenly assumed that they were indistinguishable from mozzarella sticks.

The most delightful part about cheese curds is the strange “squeaky” sensation when you eat them. Apparently, very fresh cheese curds are even squeakier! Having fresh cheese curds has now been added to my informal life’s bucket list.

Here is Wikipedia’s page about cheese curds.

Reason #2 Kayla & Darby are great traveling companions: Like us, they organize their trips around delicious meals and still want dessert!

After dinner, we went for local ice cream at the Chocolate Shoppe (“shoppy”) with an insanely long line. During the wait, we had time to ponder the position of the cow-mascot:

Later that evening, I fell into a dairy coma.

Monday was pretty rainy, so after breakfast at Marigold Kitchen (where I exhausted my jaw eating granola) and a few failed entry attempts at museums, we headed to Cave of the Mounds. Located just 20 minutes outside of Madison, Cave of the Mounds is apparently

recognized by the Chicago Academy of Sciences as “the significant cave of the upper Midwest.”

I learned all sorts of interesting things about caves, and we got to experience total darkness, which was entirely disconcerting.

There were even spaces for photo opportunities:

For dunch, we ate at Grumpy Troll Brewery located in Mt. Horeb, WI. The town’s claim to fame is the Trollway, a main street lined with shops and troll statues.

As you can see by the velkommen sign on the vistor’s center, Mt. Horeb has a lot of Scandinavian influence. Apparently, you can still find ludefisk at local church dinners!

We decided that once Kayla and Darby graduate next year, they can move to Mt. Horeb, eat cheese curds on burgers, and find the elusive “Bonus Troll.”

Don’t ask why I posed this way.

Reason #3 Kayla and Darby are great traveling companions: They are good-natured about poking around small towns in search of Bonus Trolls.

All in all, it was a really great little trip. We saw a lot in Madison, and we were pleasantly surprised by the charming trolls in Mt. Horeb. And most importantly, we had a great time traveling with “Darbla.”

I may not be “conventionally” fun, but I think I have a pretty good time anyway.

World’s Ugliest Pie

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I’ll be honest. I’ve had a very inauspicious start to Spring Break 2012. Most of Saturday has been consumed by writing a paper about task complexity. (When did this become my life?)

However, I did attend a splendid pizza party last night. Dan made two kinds of vegetarian pizza, nom nom!

Chris brought Korean pears. Apparently, you don’t eat the skins, which I didn’t know. I helped him peel and core the pears, and then I realized that I am slowly (somehow) turning into an ajumma.

This picture doesn’t help at all:

Since the pizza party was a belated Pi(e) day celebration, I made a s’mores pie.

Oh dear. This pie was an absolute disaster. The first crisis? The middle didn’t set like I wanted it to. Next? When trying to broil the marshmallows to a delicious, toasty-brown color, I managed to set the entire top of the pie on FIRE.

I scraped off the charcoal and re-melted some marshmallows, but the pie was beyond repair.

In the end, the pie benefits from cooling sufficiently and an overnight sit in the fridge. The middle turns to the consistently of dense pudding, and the graham cracker crust sets up to be a firm base. Sadly, no one saw that last night. They saw…

THIS:

…Hello, pie? Are you in there?

 

Dan and Alejandro, always good sports, were kind enough to brave the pie disaster:

I’m a little embarrassed that the name of this blog (and my nickname) is Micapie, and I suck at making pies. Oh well, there is always room for improvement!

Tomorrow, we are going with Darbla for an overnight trip to Madison, Wisconsin! Wheee!

And let’s be honest, my TBLT comprehensive exam isn’t going anywhere else tonight. I’m going to go watch Season 4 of The Tudors and enjoy the grossly historically inaccurate portrayal of Henry VIII. You can judge me, but I don’t even care.

White Day Treats

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Today, 3/14, is not only Pi(e) day but also White Day. In Korea, girls give guys chocolate on Valentine’s Day, so one month later, guys return the favor.

I’ve been waiting to hear back from the scholarship I applied for, but it’s looking pretty certain that I will not be receiving any good news. I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to go to Korea for the summer and to continue studying Korean next year, but rejection still hurts. For most of the afternoon, I felt pretty disappointed.

Therefore, it was especially nice to come home to a White Day present from the boyfriend:

Chocolate-covered pretzels? Yes, please! Thanks, boyfriend!

In addition, we met Kayla and Darby (“Darbla”) for the first Custard Cup run of the season. Mmm, the frozen custard was just as smooth and delicious as I remembered it:

I’m trying to live without regret, so gotta’  keep my head up and just move forward.

Jin’s birthday shenanigans

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On Friday, we celebrated Jin’s birthday with a potluck, cake, and Korean karaoke. It was great fun with only one hiccup involving a reservation for “Star Karaoke” in Los Angeles instead of Savoy, IL. Oops!

Cassandra didn’t realize the banner said “21″ when she bought it, apparently.

I forgot to bring my camera, and my arms were full with Ina Garten’s awesome macaroni and cheese. Thus, I will share Ryan’s photos instead.

I also didn’t take a picture of the mac & cheese, so here is a picture of Narae eating it with her hands. She’s pregnant, so she does what she wants.

Cassandra and I practiced for the noraebang:

and danced like middle schoolers:

And apparently, this is Ryan’s favorite picture of me & Harrison…ever:

Thanks, Ryan, for letting me gank your photos.

My celebrity doppelgangers & no-pants

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A few weeks ago, the other BodyCombat instructor at the gym said that I reminded her a lot of the actress on the new  Hawaii Five-0. I haven’t watched that show, so I googled it.

As it turns out, the actress to whom she was referring is named Grace Park, and she is, in fact, Korean.

[Image Source]

I’m flattered…

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…and also confused because I don’t think we look alike at all. Our noses are the same, I guess, but I think that’s where the resemblance ends.

Also, if you google “Grace Park,” a ton of risqué images show up. Please don’t think that I took awkward half-naked photos in my spare time.

You know who else I’ve been compared to?

[Image Source]

Coincidence that I’ve been compared to the girl on the box of the most delicious variety of Girl Scout cookie? I think not.

Unrelated: I don’t know if you’ve been on a college campus recently, but there is an alarming trend that involves not wearing real pants. Instead, girls wear tights or other thin bottoms which show off a little too much curve of the derrière for my comfort.

 I’ll be honest. I love running around in yoga pants and workout capris too, but (1) they’re thick and (2) I don’t wear them to class.

For example, on the crowded bus this morning, I was face-to-face with this pair of patterned tights…TIGHTS.

Kayla–you are the arbiter of pants vs. tights. I defer to your authority on this: are these appropriate bottoms for going to class?

The Failure Frown

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It has been really windy the past two days–so much so that when I tried to brush the tangles out of my hair, my hairbrush handle snapped off. What the heck?

I tried to take a sad picture to show the broken halves of my hairbrush. As it turns out, I’m really terrible at frowning.

…Like, really terrible!

I actually discovered this inability to frown a few years ago. Somehow, I just look like I’m having a stroke.

^^This is the boyfriend imitating my “frown”/stroke face.

It just never gets better….

I need a new hairbrush.